A Day in the Life: The Last Unicorn (Tom Talks Books ep. 1)

Unicorns are objectively one of the coolest mythological animals in (hypothetical) existence. There are a lot of bitter naysayers out there who disagree. In their callous hearts and myopic worldview, they hazard to toss out such misguided phrases as "It's literally just a magical horse with a horn on its head". To which I say, … Continue reading A Day in the Life: The Last Unicorn (Tom Talks Books ep. 1)

Sad Millennial Dating: My Troubling Standards

I would not consider myself to be the most desirable of suitors. I do not have a wide array of unique and interesting hobbies to talk to. I work a boring corporate job. My wardrobe is as unvaried as it is unappealing, consisting entirely of one pair of *intentionally holey* jeans and two *less intentionally … Continue reading Sad Millennial Dating: My Troubling Standards

A Day in the Life: Taco Bell

I am a generally healthy person. I sleep the doctor-recommended 3.5 hours per night, only consume alcohol before, with, and after meals, and over the last year have only been diagnosed with five *very small* (yet deeply related) medical issues. I usually remember to eat every day, and drink more than enough water to stave … Continue reading A Day in the Life: Taco Bell

Sad Millennial Dating: Dating App Conversations

I would not define myself as an exceptionally gifted conversationalist. For starters, I only ever loosely pay attention to what other people are telling me. Usually when Carol is going on about her day and that one neighbor who *just won't close his curtains!* my mind is squarely in the year 1455, caught in an … Continue reading Sad Millennial Dating: Dating App Conversations