Sad Millennial Dating: Dating App Conversations

I would not define myself as an exceptionally gifted conversationalist. For starters, I only ever loosely pay attention to what other people are telling me. Usually when Carol is going on about her day and that one neighbor who *just won't close his curtains!* my mind is squarely in the year 1455, caught in an … Continue reading Sad Millennial Dating: Dating App Conversations

Corporate America Update: The Business Lunch

Food and alcohol are intensely woven into the fabric of corporate American society. In its simplest form, a business is just a group of likeminded (unevenly paid) people working together to solve problems. Or sometimes to sell detergent. In such an environment that relies so heavily on social interaction, it should not be surprising that … Continue reading Corporate America Update: The Business Lunch

My Friends are Dumb: “Man’s Best Friend”

When I was a wee chonky lad, there was nothing I wanted more in life than to have a dog. Oh sure, I had gerbils growing up, which served as a loosely passable replacement. Incidentally, their names were Harry and Marshmallow: Harry, because I was something of a Harry Potter fanatic, and Marshmallow because he … Continue reading My Friends are Dumb: “Man’s Best Friend”

A Day in the Life: Living Alone

During my freshman year of college, I lived in a dormitory with an old high school friend. For the sake of anonymity, we'll call him "Jeremy". Jeremy was an all-around solid dude. Sure, he never gave me any free wontons or egg rolls despite being the son of local Chinese restauranteurs; and yeah, he made … Continue reading A Day in the Life: Living Alone

Sad Millennial Dating: Personality Chameleon

I am not particularly committed to my own personality. That's not to say I think there's anything specifically wrong with it. I've been told it's mildly humorous, unflinchingly passable in most social interactions, characterized by an above average adherence to basic moral principles, and is all-around mostly tolerable by the vast majority of people. I … Continue reading Sad Millennial Dating: Personality Chameleon

A Day In the Life: In Defense of Hufflepuff

Most things in our lives don't seem to have an overwhelmingly long shelf-life. When I was in kindergarten, Pok√©mon had just come to the United States and taken the entire popular culture scene by storm. From ages 5-8, I spent untold hours enslaving?...capturing?...imprisoning?...catching? Catching! Yes, *catching* tiny little elemental monsters in baseball-sized stockades, using them … Continue reading A Day In the Life: In Defense of Hufflepuff

Sad Millennial Dating: We’re All Unoriginal

Let's start out today's post with a movie premise you are all likely familiar with. The year is 1993. The Buffalo Bills have just lost their 3rd consecutive Super Bowl, Bill Clinton has recently ascended into the oval office where he will soon move agilely to bring gay rights in the military to its knees … Continue reading Sad Millennial Dating: We’re All Unoriginal

Corporate America Update: Circling Back

I have received consistent feedback over the years that having conversations with me can be particularly obnoxious, as I am not an overwhelmingly open person. In fact, entire conversations can pass without me having offered a single meaningful contribution to the dialogue. It's honestly become something of a self-imposed challenge to get in and out … Continue reading Corporate America Update: Circling Back

My Friends Are Dumb: Tops & Bottoms

I've always had a certain fondness for reading, and when I was a very young child there were two books in particular that I was most enamored with. The first was a book called "The Story of Ferdinand". It was a delightful story about a young, socially maladjusted bull that spent his time smelling flowers … Continue reading My Friends Are Dumb: Tops & Bottoms

Sad Millennial Dating: Trolling as a Coping Mechanism

When I was a child, I had something of a fondness for food. Cheeseburgers, cakes, ice cream, and pizza alike all fell before the voracious wrath of my impatient mouth and insatiable appetite. At the time, it was said that I could wield a fork like (an admittedly smaller, tubbier) Inigo Montoya, and brandish a … Continue reading Sad Millennial Dating: Trolling as a Coping Mechanism