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Sad Millennial Dating: Personality Chameleon Pt. 2

When I was a child, I did not like myself much. And while sad, I don't think this was a wildly unreasonable stance for pre-pubescent Tom to take. An almost irrational love of saturated fats and Skittles had transformed a once promising Irish Catholic athlete of middling height, talent, and ambition into a meaty little … Continue reading Sad Millennial Dating: Personality Chameleon Pt. 2

A Day in the Life: Goodbye, Seamus

You would not *believe* the effort I put in to get you. I had spent my entire childhood being told by mom that we couldn't get a dog ("allergies", I guess. Right.) But when I was a freshman in high school, our grandpa had just passed. And I think all of us needed someone new … Continue reading A Day in the Life: Goodbye, Seamus

A Day in the Life: A Poem from a San Antonio Air BnB

The sign on the toilet says Not to flush the toilet paper But to throw it in the trash instead I flush it just the same In order there is anarchy Distress And the trash The cause of my anxiety Shall instead be a receptacle for my discontent For in order there is distress Anarchy … Continue reading A Day in the Life: A Poem from a San Antonio Air BnB

Sad Millennial Dating: Margaritas

As much as public school curriculum might have you believe otherwise, simply knowing a lot of facts does not make one intelligent. Having a working understanding of the French Revolution or a passing knowledge of cellular construction (#Mitochondria #ThePowerhouseOfTheCell), while impressive, is about as indicative of a high IQ as one's ability to run fast … Continue reading Sad Millennial Dating: Margaritas

A Day in the Life: Nocturnal Struggles

There are many things in this world that I'm not particularly great at. Cutting in a straight line, for example. I had a kindergarten teacher back in the day who took such umbrage at my inability to snip along a straight, perforated line that she attempted to hold me back for a year, such that … Continue reading A Day in the Life: Nocturnal Struggles

My Friends are Dumb: Short & Sassy

When I first graduated college, I was clearly ill-equipped to take on the adult world. A random corporate recruiter might have looked at my resume and said, "Why, you graduated from a prestigious business school...with a fantastic GPA, lovely...and wow, looks like you were pretty active on campus...and what a *strong* Christian name. *Thomas*. You … Continue reading My Friends are Dumb: Short & Sassy

A Day in the Life: A “Literal” Day

After a few weeks of waxing poetic on the wildly uninteresting inadequacies in my life, I've come to the realization that I've never actually detailed a full *Typical* day in my life. Stories and colorful anecdotes, while entertaining, only provide glimpses into reality. It's like only looking at photos from that trip you took last … Continue reading A Day in the Life: A “Literal” Day