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Sad Millennial Dating: Personality Chameleon Pt. 2

When I was a child, I did not like myself much. And while sad, I don't think this was a wildly unreasonable stance for pre-pubescent Tom to take. An almost irrational love of saturated fats and Skittles had transformed a once promising Irish Catholic athlete of middling height, talent, and ambition into a meaty little … Continue reading Sad Millennial Dating: Personality Chameleon Pt. 2

Sad Millennial Dating: Dates From the Crypt, Pt. 1

The last date I went on prior to the COVID pandemic was...not great. Not great is, of course, a relative term. In fact, what typically qualifies as "average" for another person, actually qualifies as well above expectations for me. What is typically a "below average" date for a more refined and genteel bachelor, would likely … Continue reading Sad Millennial Dating: Dates From the Crypt, Pt. 1

Sad Millennial Dating: Ghosting

A few weeks back, I went out to dinner with some friends. Ever since society at large began treating COVID-19 as nothing more than a bygone nightmare that we all finally woke up from (*Kisses forehead gently and buries death toll statistics under pillow*), I've been trying to make up for lost time. This dinner … Continue reading Sad Millennial Dating: Ghosting

Sad Millennial Dating: My Troubling Standards

I would not consider myself to be the most desirable of suitors. I do not have a wide array of unique and interesting hobbies to talk to. I work a boring corporate job. My wardrobe is as unvaried as it is unappealing, consisting entirely of one pair of *intentionally holey* jeans and two *less intentionally … Continue reading Sad Millennial Dating: My Troubling Standards

My Friends Are Dumb: Tops & Bottoms

I've always had a certain fondness for reading, and when I was a very young child there were two books in particular that I was most enamored with. The first was a book called "The Story of Ferdinand". It was a delightful story about a young, socially maladjusted bull that spent his time smelling flowers … Continue reading My Friends Are Dumb: Tops & Bottoms